These Betty Crocker 'Pizza' Boats From The '50s Leave A Lot To Be Desired

The Betty Crocker brand stretches back to the 1920s, but even its earliest recipes are still popular in the 21st century, like its old-school ginger cake. In fact, the company is arguably best-known for its range of boxed cake mixes — who remembers its answer cake mix, which was all the rage in the 1950s? Of course, a company that's been around for so long is bound to have a few duds among its products. For us, it's Betty Crocker's "pizza" boats. They sound like a fun little snack, as they're squares of Bisquick shortcake dough, topped with hot dogs, cheese, and ketchup, then secured with toothpicks to create the boat shape. Easy to make, sure, but are they underwhelming? Yes.

Digging a little deeper, there are reasons for the apparent simplicity. The pizza boats feature in "Betty Crocker's Bisquick Cook Book" from 1956, which offered 157 recipe ideas. Although it sounds hefty, it was actually a slender pamphlet sold at grocery stores, and marked a departure from previous publications that connected Hollywood stars and chefs to its Bisquick product. The "Bisquick Cook Book" wouldn't rank among the vintage tomes worth a pretty penny today, and, true to the name, every recipe includes a Bisquick base. That makes them quick and easy for a busy housewife (it was the 1950s) to rustle up for hungry family members and visitors. Pizza boats are in the "Company's Coming" section under "Party Snacks," listed alongside batter franks, velvet fudge cake, and brownie nut waffles.

Betty Crocker's pizza boats may leave something to be desired for modern audiences, but for generations, she was the queen of home cooking. Even the revelation that she wasn't a real person hasn't dented the brand's popularity. On social media, people regularly post pages from vintage Bisquick pamphlets and cookbooks, leading to misty-eyed recollections of mom's strawberry shortcake and impossible pie, or grandma's dumplings. But times — and tastes — change. 

"It was a more innocent time!" you may cry, but there are ways to gussy up the pizza boats and give them some extra oomph that will really catch attention while still holding on to retro charm. You could start by switching the Bisquick base with buttery puff pastry for a different texture, while swapping the wiener for pepperoni or a grocery store hot dog made with 100% beef, would bump up the flavor. So, too, would a sprinkling of Parmesan or a slug of sriracha or some other hot sauce. Might our version win over the generations who grew up on Betty Crocker's simple but ultimately underwhelming snack? We think so!